The Rise & Rise of the Modern Bond Villain

During the global economic boom they amassed fortunes, power and influence beyond imagination. They (in many cases) came from nowhere but through opportunity and application of knowledge and skills they changed the world's perception of itself and were called the "super rich". They own whole industries, super yachts, multiple palatial properties but somehow claim residency in states that levy no tax. They own English football clubs, massive companies and as always some of the most beautiful girls in the world. They provided the world with the ultimate fantasy: wealth without limit!

During the last couple of years however, there has been a slightly more sinister twist to the fairy tale and things have begun to look more like a film based on an Ian Flemming novel than reality. What I am in fact talking about is the emergence and rise of the real-life James Bond Super Villain. You remember the chaps who lived on an tropical island with a secret underground bunker (presumably in a tax free location), owned super yachts and gadgets only slightly inferior to those used by MI6 and always had a plan and scale model for world domination which usually involved total monopoly on a vital industry which upon which the world is completely dependent....oh yeah and did I forget to mention they usually dated some of the most beautiful girls in the world.

Sir Allen Stanford is the latest in a long line who fits into this category nicely I think (although one must question the reality of global dependence on international 40/40 cricket). After ripping of thousands of people through dodgy investments he has disappeared. He has gone to ground and scarpered. To where will be a matter for press leaks and whether the place to which he has absconded will accept his bribes and remain silent. I believe he has property in the Caribbean so he shouldn't have any difficult finding officials there to buy. However, the big problem I feel at the moment is that if he or any of his ilk decided to hold the world to ransom, in reality our "00"chaps would be in serious schtum. They would be seriously out-gadgeted by the baddies because they are seriously under funded. Makes me worry a bit when considering the resources available and power which is yielded by some of those I consider to be a bit of a worry.

Milliband Cements Place in Rogues Gallery

Over my 35 years there are probably only a handful of people who I have taken an instant dislike to. I don't just mean a bad feeling or a suspicion that something might not be quite right, but I mean an absolute loathing from day one to the point of utter revulsion. I have never had these feelings about people I have met personally (although there were a few that came close). Rather, they have always been reserved it seems for people on the tele or in the news. Amongst them are the following; Davina (go to the bloody toilet if you need to woman and speak in sentences not just bloody words) McCall, Tony (& Cherie)(where are the celebrities? where are the cameras? where's my mirror & where's my cash) Blair, Gwenith (please don't get me started on her) Paltrow, Opera Winfrey, Delia Smith, Mr & Mrs Beckham, Shane Warne, Roman Abramovich, Kate Moss, Liam and Noel, Lilly Allen and lastly but by no means leastly Jonathan Ross.

A very worthy and recent addition to my rogues gallery is of course David Milliband. I haven't been able to give any rational reasons for my burning hatred of this politician until now. Ask me and I can justify the reasons in detail why I believe that all of the others with the possible exception of Warne have contributed negatively on society, but until recently, I have only been able to say that my dislike for Milliband is based on instinct. However I feel that my instincts have been confirmed via the recent attempt by Milliband's office to cover up the British government's involvement in the torture of a terrorist suspect held at Guantanamo Bay. The reports in the papers seem to suggest that the man is not only deceitful and a bully but also professionally incompetent.

So...I think my instincts have been fairly accurate on this one all along although if I'm not mistaken, these seem to be the very qualities that New Labour was built and run on by its original architects. This means that Milliband is just a product of his environment. Does it mean I dislike him any less...not really!

Tony Blair, Saint? Or Just Planning Future Memoirs

So I was reading the paper the other day and I came across an article that said Tony Blair now wants to dedicate his time to uniting the major religions of the world. “How funny is that?” I thought to myself and then I started to get angry. Now I probably shouldn’t because the idea of all the major religions of the world burying the hatchet and living in peace and harmony is fantastic. It is about one of the best things that could happen. Not however if Blair has anything to do with it and I’ll tell you why.

There are gigantic credibility issue here with old Tony. Firstly, this is the man who has alienated the Muslim world. He has started and supported two wars in Muslim countries which have had dire consequences upon world peace and stability. He lied about the reasons why Iraq was invaded and conquered and failed all objectives of the exercise other than removing Saddam Hussein from power and this life. He has blood on his hands and lots of it.

He has also spent 10 years running the UK into the ground. He delivered on none of his promises to the people he has been leading and if you ignore the propaganda, the standard of life has deteriorated consistently and measurably during his regime. He is hot air and no substance.

I think he is probably tired of being Condoleezza’s PA in the Middle East, where as far as I can see, he has achieved nothing either. This is not a man who can deliver. This is a man who likes to pose for cameras and tell people what they should be doing because he says its right. He is obsessed with his legacy and realising that he has done nothing for the world other than give it war and misery, he appears to have finally tipped over the edge of sanity and into total fantasy (which I would like to add, he always appeared dangerously close to).

If this was anyone else saying that they wanted to unite the religions of the world, I would probably be a little bit inspired. With Tony, I fear that all it is however is an excuse to jet around the world at our expense meeting celebrities and world leaders to provide him with enough material for another biography. Like Jordan and the Beckhams, I think we are going to be subjected biographies every couple of years from Blair as he continues to try and reinvent and repackage himself in order that we should love and worship him. Can we not just save a bit of money and let him have a big statue somewhere for a couple of years so we can finally see the back of him and can someone noteworthy and at least halfway credible (nobody pictured above need apply) please get involved in his plans before he inadvertently brings forth the Armageddon.

Hubble Bubble, Beware the Witches of Leftwick

I just wanted to wish Boris congratulations on his victory for Mayor of London. I hope he can turn his energy and excitement into something really positive as far as London is concerned.

After years of near hatred, I have to say that I was also a little sad to see Ken Livingstone go (but not a lot). He actually seemed to take it quite well. I had visions of him attacking Gordon Brown, the labour party and the public in the same way as we have seen him attack the London assembly over the years, but he was magnanimous in defeat. I nearly got angry when I was listening to LBC and a listener suggested that he should now look to run for leadership of the labour party and then to become PM. "God, no!!!" I thought to myself before I remembered that half of LBC's listeners are as raving mad and delusional as the people they support, this poor lady being one of them.


I have also been amused over the last couple of days by the Labour hierarchy telling us that the results mean it is time for them to listen and that what we need is strong leadership through hard times or in other words, as a public we don't actually know what we want and the government has to do what they want to do anyway whilst doing it with a sympathetic look on their faces and ruffled brow.


I also think that I have spotted something very interesting as a result of the labour defeat this week. Brown had his big guns out. If you like his rottweilers of war. A trio no less who flew the red standard and charged into battle for the leader....and the interesting thing is that they were all women. I think the chaps in the cabinet were around and about but the main muscle on all of the political commentary shows I was watching on TV were the ladies. Harriet, Tessa and Jacqui were all unfazed and almost maniacal in their belief in what they were trying to say (previous paragraph) and stand for.

They actually did a very good job of taking much of the flack that was flying about and I have to say that if I were married to either of them, the last thing I would be worried about would be whether they would support me in times of trouble. These are the type of women that successful men are made of. They also showed a strength and determination I associate with another lady politician of not too long ago. Yes...the great ginger one, the Iron Lady herself, old Mrs T. Imagine three Margaret Thatchers. It is an absolutely terrifying prospect but the possibility has been brewing in the labour party for years and under our very noses.

Look (as Tony Blair would say), forget about the chaps for New Labour. I mean, seriously, who have they got? The Two Camp Millibands or Ed Balls (John Prescott II). These three women singularly could eat any of the aforementioned for breakfast whilst reciting tracts from the Odyssey in reverse, standing on their heads and gargling Champagne. If they were to unite like Gordon and Tony did, they could be great and when Gordon falls they could inherit the earth (of the UK at least). There is an outside chance that they will all shave their heads, start wearing flowery mini dresses and chanting hippy love songs round the halls of Westminster, however it is more likely that they will be fundamental and vital to the future success of their party. I don't necessarily think that they would plot Gordon's demise themselves because they seem to be too loyal for that, but when he goes, I think that rivals from within and outside new labour will all need to start watching what what these three women will do even if they are unwise enough to be ignoring them today.

Gordon Brown: Totally Insane or a Conviction Politician?

"Labour is always ready to listen to people's concerns, and take action on them." according to Gordon Brown.

He also said the government had listened to people's demands that police "come down hard" on gangs.

What on earth is this man going on about? Has he lost the plot and does he actually believe that he is in touch with the people or does he actually believe that the people will believe that he is in touch with them. Lets just have a quick look at labour's record on listening to the people.

The first instance I remember being hugely significant was the war on Iraq. Nobody wanted it but Tony and George had to do it because of all the WMD that Saddam was building & hiding which would presumably be used to destroy Israel and the west some day. Then after they invaded and it was discovered that in fact the Iraqis didn't have WMD, we were told that it was all about regime change to rid the oppressed Iraqi people of the evil dictator Saddam. Either way it never occurred to the government that the people, either them or us might not be behind them. In fact as I recall ,there was even resignations from the then government. Still they marched onwards.

I think that there was also a petrol demonstration early on at some point which was pretty much ignored but the next big thing I remember was the European Constitution which we were going to be given a vote on. Good old Tony never had to give it to us because I think the French and/or the Germans turned it down before we even got a look in. Then they changed the name of it from a constitution to a treaty & Gordon himself decided that we no longer needed any input because it wasn't a constitutional issue. Perhaps someone should point out to our unelected PM that an apple is still an apple whether you call it an apple or not.

The government told everyone that dental care would become easier and cheaper. They messed that one up too. The refused to listen to the BDA and their concerns about the new system of charging and now huge numbers of people cannot find an NHS dentist.

The fact is that the list goes on and on. This government does not listen to the people. It never has and the fact is that is has never had to because of the size of its majority in the House that it has enjoyed and exploited for ten years now. If Gordon is serious about keeping his job, he needs to chop his PR machine because they are doing him no favours. They are making him look like a liar or that he has actually lost the plot. He and his party need to realise that although Blair was popular and did a lot for the renaissance of the Labour party, the fact is that they won their huge majority because people were sick to death of the Conservatives. Blair happened to turn up at the right time with a bit of razzle dazzle.

When people began to see through the razzle dazzle however and realised that there really was no substance ot the man, Blair was clever enough to depart. I think that the British people are beginning to expect more from their politicians than PR and marketing and would like to see candidates who could actually govern the country in the right direction, which at this point in time is in any direction away from the direction in which we are headed, thanks to Blair and New Labour.

In a way, I admire Gordon for sticking around, because that could mean that he is in fact a conviction politician and is ready to actually ride out the rough and do what is right for the people, in which case good luck to him. On the other hand it could also mean that he is oblivious to what people actually think and therefore a bad judge of circumstances and fact or even worse a raving loon. Gladly, I do not think that it will take us long to figure it out.

Blair is the Mekon (with a wriggler)

I heard the funniest thing on BBC News24 just now and I had to share it. A portrait of Tony Blair by Phil Hale, the only formal portrait he sat for whilst in office has been unvailed in Westminster today. David Lee, the art critic was asked to comment on it and he compared it to the Mekon.

For anyone who doesn't know who the Mekon was, he was the evil ruler of Venus. He was ousted from power and had no fixed base of operations. His ultimate goal was the domination of the universe. For anyone who doesn't know Blair...well his career and life goals also seem to be a bit similar.

Lord Desai, Half Right about Labour.

Lord Desai came out today and said what we are all probably thinking about unelected PM Gordon Brown. That he is indecisive and weak. However he got the next bit wrong because he claimed that Gordon was put on earth to remind us how good Blair was and this is where I started to get angry.

I want to make it perfectly clear from here that I think and have always thought that the whole New Labour exercise was nothing more than a re-branding exercise backed up with good, almost genius manipulation of the media and NOTHING MORE. They have not improved our lives since they have been in power. They have also lied about all sorts of things (least of all the reasons for going to war). The guys at the top are all involved in political corruption through cash for honours and Saudi warplanes. We have been told repeatedly that Britain is recession proof, that crime is lower, immigration is great and that hospitals are fantastic because of all the money that has been poured into the NHS black hole. But the thing to remember is that it is not entirely Gordon Brown's fault.

Yes he was there. Yes he stood shoulder to shoulder with Blair throughout and made wild statements that we were supposed to believe without question, but he was working for Blair. Blair was in charge of the country for 10 years and the state of things must fall firmly on Blair's shoulders, not Brown's. Contrary to what Lord Desai says about Brown, I actually think more correctly that Gordon Brown was put on earth to remind us of just how bad Mr. Blair was and how hollow his 10 years in power actually were.

It was also suggested by Desai that Brown's successor should be the current foreign secretary David Milliband. Now this I agree with. Being a supporter of the other side, I think that the choice has to be absolutely the best from the conservative party point of view too. Blair was a smug super confident man who could oil his way through anything and appear half credible to the type of people who voted for him. Milliband is also unbelievably smug too and Lord Desai is probably thinking that Milliband is another Blair. However, I don't think that I have spoken to a labour supporter and I have spoken to a few, who is not reviled by Milliband. In fact most people seem to positively dislike him citing his inability to be sincere about anything together with his smugness as the main reason for their dislike. At least with Blair, he seemed to care about things even if it did all turn out to be a great acting performance from a man who actually cares for nothing but his own political advancement and personal "legacy".

Anyway, I actually started to smile at the end after I found myself defending Gordon Brown for some strange reason. I think defending Gordon Brown would be a bit like defending Goering at Nuremberg. Fact is Brown was at the top of Blair's government and has been a major contributing player in the utter incompetence that has been running this country since Labour got into power. Brown has been left holding the bag though and it is natural that he will look like the villain, after all Blair jumped ship before we started to discover the sticky tape that is holding this Labour government and its actions for the last ten years precariously in place.

If Labour loses badly in the local elections and loses London, I think that Lord Desai is right, Labour will start to panic and I think that people like him are going to start it. I think that this is exactly what we saw from the conservative party after they lost to labour originally and until quite recently, panic and disorganisation caused by a great deal of back and front stabbing from factions within the party. The result of this "panic" is political loss and humiliation" so I think that I am quite confident that we are going to see a good spanking at the next general election. Ah, revenge will be so sweet and I will look forward to another ten year stint by a conservative government until they screw things up and whilst New Labour send Milliband to Hollywood or at least the local drama school to learn how to act with the sincerity that got Blair into power (it'll take him a while unfortunately). Once He learns to say "look" a lot and use his hands and gesticulate in a more forceful way, he will be in a position to lie properly to the country and convince them that he is the man for the job.